it's been a while since i've written. as always, i'm really trying to get consistent with my writing...whether it's journaling, blogging, or poetry. but somehow i feel as though that'll be an ever-present thorn in my side :-)
anyways, since the last time i wrote, i've turned a whole year older! happy birthday to yours truly :-) i still feel the same, and life is still just as confusing as it was before. more and more i feel like my days are filled with things that aren't making me happy, or i'm constantly running around and focused on others and at the end of the day i have no energy to focus on myself. my time is spent on so many meaningless tasks, that my days are ticking away and i have nothing to show for them...
i haven't finished a lot of things they way i've wanted to, you know...feeling so proud of what i did. i used to be the person one step ahead of the curve. now i struggle to maintain status quo. and that's NOT me...nowhere near it. i'm praying desperately for that to change (amongst a ton of other things). *sigh* it just seems like the more i try to do what God wants me to do, or what I think He wants me to do, things get more and more crazy in my head. i know the alternative isn't better...i want to spend eternity with Him...but can i get a small inkling that i'm on the right track?
will this EVER get any easier, or at least more enjoyable???
