so, this summer...since apparently i'm not taking classes (not entirely by choice *curse you, UF budget cuts*)...i've decided to really work on myself.
really cliche, right? yea...i know. but bear with me for a sec. you see, one of the biggest lessons i've learned is that i'm excellent at helping others work through their stuff (hence, my chosen field...counseling :-P) but i'm horrible at practicing what i preach. :-/ i do believe that God orders our steps, already has a plan for each of our lives...i really do. BUT i also believe that He expects to step out in faith and walk along the path He's created for us.
long story short, i really want to spend the summer working on some things i've spent so much time running from. in less than a month i'll be 24...and while i don't think that's old, i do think it's too long for me to still be struggling with some of the these things. i want to grow even deeper in my relationship with God; i want to really work on my writing...i'm determined to have a book published before i graduate next year; i want to learn to work through my emotions instead of eating them/pushing them down/ignoring them; i want feel like i'm not behind in my academics for once! above all, i just want to get to a place where i'm ok with myself...things always change, but my overall core...i want to be ok with that person.
*sigh* i'm scared. really scared. and SUPER doubtful & hesitant about the whole process. lucky for me, one of the things i'm working on is trust lol so i will trust that God has planned for me to be at this point...coming up on summer with no plans as to what i will be doing, no money, & no energy left to figure out anything... :'(
wow...that really just hit me. Jesus, are you listening? now would be an excellent time for some writing on the wall...
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