it's been a long week...school is really getting to me, and that's not looking good for the rest of the semester. to top off my long week, after a very interesting weekend, a presentation i was supposed to give ended up being cancelled. that plus being on the receiving end of a lot of harsh emotions really brought my fun wknd to a screeching halt. in all the situations i felt like my time had been wasted and i felt very rejected...like i wasn't worth the consideration that "hmm...maybe this might hurt K's feelings" so in the midst of being frustrated and getting all geared up for a good cry, i thought about Jesus (which is a new concept for me b/c usually i just have a pity party). as His followers we're called to spread the Good News and introduce ppl to Christ's amazing love. sometimes you see them accept Christ into their lives, and maybe ur even blessed to have them thank you for showing them the way. but most times, you get "nothing"...that convo at Starbucks or that really deep debate you have after class may only serve to peak someone's interest. in essence, you're only planting a seed...someone else has the duty, the PURPOSE of watering it, feeding it, etc.
with all that said, i'm open to finding my purpose. b/c of tired of feeling like i'm wasting time, and i'm tired of getting upset b/c i don't get acknowledged for watering the plant when really all i was supposed to do is plant the seed. idk what my purpose is...i'm not entirely sure how i'm gonna find out what it is either lol but i'm going to pray...going to keep praying. and keep running. things aren't always easy...they definitely aren't the best right now, but i'm going to trust God to show me the way.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
starting over.
over the last couple of days, i've been in a very...idk...weird mood. i'm still not sure exactly what i've been feeling. i guess a good description would be unbalanced. paying attention to my feelings is a relatively new concept for me. i know, that sounds odd...most people can identify their feelings, then act on them appropriately. i on the other hand have difficulty identifying them, so i act on them...yes, you guessed it...inappropriately. but i digress...
anywho, long story short, i'm still not quite sure what i'm feeling when i actually feel it. because of this, i've been in a funky mood for about a week...unable to determine if i'm happy, sad, mad, anxious...i just don't know. what i do know is that i've been thinking a lot about things that i've struggled with in the past, and about things that i still struggle with. after all that, i figured out how i felt...extremely discouraged. that heightened this morning as i tried to resume my daily running/exercising. it was like day 1 all over again. it was disheartening to not even be able to make it through half of the run...so i just ended up walking the rest of the way. then i heard a song by Addison Road. this part of the song stood out the most to me...
even when your heart's been broken
He'll be there with arms wide open
be strong and His love will lead you
to fight another day
now, the song didn't make my walk any easier...and it definitely didn't erase my mind the things i'd been thinking about. yet it did do something...it renewed my faith in the idea that things may be difficult now, but they won't always be that way. i have faith that God will help me through this. like someone said on a prayer call a few days ago..."faith doesn't get you around trouble, it gets you THROUGH trouble."
so i'm gonna continue pressing through. and whatever you're dealing, know that God will be there to help you through it too...even if things seem impossible.
remember, always keep running. <3
anywho, long story short, i'm still not quite sure what i'm feeling when i actually feel it. because of this, i've been in a funky mood for about a week...unable to determine if i'm happy, sad, mad, anxious...i just don't know. what i do know is that i've been thinking a lot about things that i've struggled with in the past, and about things that i still struggle with. after all that, i figured out how i felt...extremely discouraged. that heightened this morning as i tried to resume my daily running/exercising. it was like day 1 all over again. it was disheartening to not even be able to make it through half of the run...so i just ended up walking the rest of the way. then i heard a song by Addison Road. this part of the song stood out the most to me...
even when your heart's been broken
He'll be there with arms wide open
be strong and His love will lead you
to fight another day
now, the song didn't make my walk any easier...and it definitely didn't erase my mind the things i'd been thinking about. yet it did do something...it renewed my faith in the idea that things may be difficult now, but they won't always be that way. i have faith that God will help me through this. like someone said on a prayer call a few days ago..."faith doesn't get you around trouble, it gets you THROUGH trouble."
so i'm gonna continue pressing through. and whatever you're dealing, know that God will be there to help you through it too...even if things seem impossible.
remember, always keep running. <3
Monday, January 10, 2011
week 2, day 1.
today's run was ok. i stopped 2 times during the middle, but i pushed through and finished the last run today. i was happy about that :-) i definitely have to not slack so much on the weekend because it was hard getting up this morning! lol
it's short, sweet, and to the point today...gotta run! [no pun intended :-P]
until l8r, keep running. <3
it's short, sweet, and to the point today...gotta run! [no pun intended :-P]
until l8r, keep running. <3
Friday, January 7, 2011
week 1, day 3.
DONE with week 1!!! i'm so excited because i actually feel better than i did at the beginning of the week! :-0 who woulda thunk it? :-P it was freezing...but i still managed to drag myself out for the run lol i'm hoping running in this cold weather will help me in the long run. you know, by it being difficult to breath and what not now, i'll be able to breath easier while running come spring. keep your fingers crossed though haha.
on top of getting this running routine on and poppin, i'm still working on creating an efficient morning routine as well. if i'm gonna be up so early in the morning, i wanna get a lot of stuff done during the day so i'm free to pass out at night! going to bed so early makes me feel like i'm missing stuff :-( but let me tell you, when my head hits the pillow...i'm out like a light. it's a beautiful thing!
even still, all of this feels good. it's challenging, don't get me wrong. but it feels...idk...right. like i'm not forcing myself to do something i'm not ready for. i've prayed and prayed for transformations in so many areas of my life...well, in ALL of them...and it's finally happening.
not HOW i expected.
not WHEN i expected.
but at the RIGHT time.
God, you're awesome. and i hope you all out there get to experience His awesomeness too. anyways, i'm off to continue my day...
until l8r, keep running. <3
on top of getting this running routine on and poppin, i'm still working on creating an efficient morning routine as well. if i'm gonna be up so early in the morning, i wanna get a lot of stuff done during the day so i'm free to pass out at night! going to bed so early makes me feel like i'm missing stuff :-( but let me tell you, when my head hits the pillow...i'm out like a light. it's a beautiful thing!
even still, all of this feels good. it's challenging, don't get me wrong. but it feels...idk...right. like i'm not forcing myself to do something i'm not ready for. i've prayed and prayed for transformations in so many areas of my life...well, in ALL of them...and it's finally happening.
not HOW i expected.
not WHEN i expected.
but at the RIGHT time.
God, you're awesome. and i hope you all out there get to experience His awesomeness too. anyways, i'm off to continue my day...
until l8r, keep running. <3
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
week 1, day 2.
i'm pumped!
well, at least in the figurative sense i am lol.
i'm excited because i finished my 2nd workout and i didn't feel like dying as much as i did day ! hahaha i think the going to bed at 10 instead of 11 helped TREMENDOUSLY (props to Betsy K. for the suggestion...she's the coolest chick EVER! i love her so much :-) ) anyways, so i went to the track but ROTC was practicing...side note: i've been into military men lately, idk why. we'll have to discuss that in another blog hehe...sooooo i had to find an alternate route to run along. actually though, i liked it much more than going in circles around the track. i saw more people and more scenery, plus there was a lot more traffic...meaning (hopefully) i was a little safer than running by myself.
i've noticed that i'm not quite sure what my body is saying when it does certain stuff. so i'm still trying to learn what's a "normal" sound/feeling/action/etc. and what's not. i'm trying to get healthy and lose weight, but i wanna do it the right way so that i don't hurt myself worse in the long run. plus, i want this to be something i can do for years to come. you know, a lifestyle change...not just a 5-day new year's resolution.
until l8r, keep running. <3
well, at least in the figurative sense i am lol.
i'm excited because i finished my 2nd workout and i didn't feel like dying as much as i did day ! hahaha i think the going to bed at 10 instead of 11 helped TREMENDOUSLY (props to Betsy K. for the suggestion...she's the coolest chick EVER! i love her so much :-) ) anyways, so i went to the track but ROTC was practicing...side note: i've been into military men lately, idk why. we'll have to discuss that in another blog hehe...sooooo i had to find an alternate route to run along. actually though, i liked it much more than going in circles around the track. i saw more people and more scenery, plus there was a lot more traffic...meaning (hopefully) i was a little safer than running by myself.
i've noticed that i'm not quite sure what my body is saying when it does certain stuff. so i'm still trying to learn what's a "normal" sound/feeling/action/etc. and what's not. i'm trying to get healthy and lose weight, but i wanna do it the right way so that i don't hurt myself worse in the long run. plus, i want this to be something i can do for years to come. you know, a lifestyle change...not just a 5-day new year's resolution.
until l8r, keep running. <3
Monday, January 3, 2011
week 1, day 1.
i felt ok as i woke up this morning at 6am.
i still felt ok as i drove, in the dark, to the track.
i even still felt ok after my brisk 5 min walk and the beginning of my jogging.
it wasn't until i finished that 4th min of running that i realized something.
...this is going to be harder than i expected.
i'd ran this day 1 a million times in my head (ok, maybe i'm exaggerating a little...lol). my point is, i saw day 1 going a little different than what it actually did. i wasn't bad, i'm just SUPER tired! i feel out of balance, kinda sore, and (yep, i'm going there) like quitting...
and now i know why there's a day in between runs :-/ that's ok, i'm still on track...RTL 2011.
until l8r, keep running. <3
i still felt ok as i drove, in the dark, to the track.
i even still felt ok after my brisk 5 min walk and the beginning of my jogging.
it wasn't until i finished that 4th min of running that i realized something.
...this is going to be harder than i expected.
i'd ran this day 1 a million times in my head (ok, maybe i'm exaggerating a little...lol). my point is, i saw day 1 going a little different than what it actually did. i wasn't bad, i'm just SUPER tired! i feel out of balance, kinda sore, and (yep, i'm going there) like quitting...
and now i know why there's a day in between runs :-/ that's ok, i'm still on track...RTL 2011.
until l8r, keep running. <3
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2011.
1.1.11
today begins a new year in the like of K. Riley. Of course there is much thought about the future, about what fresh exciting things this new year holds. But there's also some hesistation because of what the past turned out to be...
It may be a surprise to some, but 2010 proved to be a very trying year for me. Sparing you the details (and me, the agony of reliving it all), thinking about the past year brings tears to my eyes and pain to a wounded heart. Yet even as u write this, and as the minutes run down on the first day of this new year, I find courage and strength in knowing that in Christ, the old is gone and all things are made new (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Idk what God has in store for me this year. But I think I'm finally at a place where I am ready to listen to Him. My past still pains me now, but I truly believe God will use those experiences to help someone else. I think He already is...but more on that later :-)
until l8r, keep running. <3
today begins a new year in the like of K. Riley. Of course there is much thought about the future, about what fresh exciting things this new year holds. But there's also some hesistation because of what the past turned out to be...
It may be a surprise to some, but 2010 proved to be a very trying year for me. Sparing you the details (and me, the agony of reliving it all), thinking about the past year brings tears to my eyes and pain to a wounded heart. Yet even as u write this, and as the minutes run down on the first day of this new year, I find courage and strength in knowing that in Christ, the old is gone and all things are made new (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Idk what God has in store for me this year. But I think I'm finally at a place where I am ready to listen to Him. My past still pains me now, but I truly believe God will use those experiences to help someone else. I think He already is...but more on that later :-)
until l8r, keep running. <3
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