gardening.

it's been a long week...school is really getting to me, and that's not looking good for the rest of the semester. to top off my long week, after a very interesting weekend, a presentation i was supposed to give ended up being cancelled. that plus being on the receiving end of a lot of harsh emotions really brought my fun wknd to a screeching halt. in all the situations i felt like my time had been wasted and i felt very rejected...like i wasn't worth the consideration that "hmm...maybe this might hurt K's feelings" so in the midst of being frustrated and getting all geared up for a good cry, i thought about Jesus (which is a new concept for me b/c usually i just have a pity party). as His followers we're called to spread the Good News and introduce ppl to Christ's amazing love. sometimes you see them accept Christ into their lives, and maybe ur even blessed to have them thank you for showing them the way. but most times, you get "nothing"...that convo at Starbucks or that really deep debate you have after class may only serve to peak someone's interest. in essence, you're only planting a seed...someone else has the duty, the PURPOSE of watering it, feeding it, etc.

with all that said, i'm open to finding my purpose. b/c of tired of feeling like i'm wasting time, and i'm tired of getting upset b/c i don't get acknowledged for watering the plant when really all i was supposed to do is plant the seed. idk what my purpose is...i'm not entirely sure how i'm gonna find out what it is either lol but i'm going to pray...going to keep praying. and keep running. things aren't always easy...they definitely aren't the best right now, but i'm going to trust God to show me the way.