who knew?

it took me two hours (and one very special cup of orange juice) to get my blood pressure back to normal.
my racing thoughts are another story.
what is the cause of this? a near-death experience?
no, my friends...though flashbacks were awfully close.
actually, this was class.
yea, i said it...class.

like the majority of my classes, meaning all of them, involve self-reflection. i can't bring myself to do it. so many instances in my past tell me that human beings can't be trusted. the walls i put up keep me safe, even if they keep me from truly making connections. everything in my body says run away. fast. the urge has never been greater. this trapped feeling is torture, and i still have months left in this class.

but i want to get better. authenticity intrigues me. most importantly, i want to be free.
to trust.
to live.
to love.

sorry i'm all over the place. just another day and time in the life and mind of a wounded healer.