i'm getting sucked in...i can't silence the noise...i'm afraid i'm getting lost in the thoughts. when i think about it all, i only get more questions. if i answered the questions, i'd only hurt more...long more...strike out, do more damage...
i wish there was more i could say, or do, or make sense of...but like my friend said, when i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, i'll change.
...i guess i'm not there yet?
all i know how to do is go numb.
it's different this time...i'm okay with it. i know other ways to survive, but this mode seems to be the only one that's working...
i'm holding on, trying to make it to the end...but what exactly is that? or, better yet, will i ever even make it there?
will i want to...???
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